My mom is a buzzkill

Me: I have been trying to get home to get some exercising in.
Mom: That's great, what have you been doing?
Me: I've been trying to run a little bit.
Mom: You know you aren't supposed to run hard, right?
Me: Yeah, I have a heart rate monitor I use to keep track of how hard I am pushing myself.
Mom: No, I mean because of your intestines.
Me, in my head: What the F*ck is she talking about?
Mom, continues: Women who have had big babies aren't supposed to run on hard surfaces.
Me: Oh, well....

This is why I am a hypochondriac!